"Paranoia-sense, tingling.." (Civilization collapses two weeks later) "Thank goodness I bought all that extra ammunition."

What's all this paranoia about anyway? Well, I've been reading the big awful yellow book ("Practical UNIX and Internet Security") again and poking around in search of supporting literature, and I realized how relaxed I had become. Except that today instead of "relaxed" I think "dangerously oblivious". Peb! I looked through my file archives and found old things which can halt windows 95 remotely, and I realized that after I reinstalled Win95 on Nerve I hadn't patched the kernel to prevent this. I feel like the veteran standing on waikiki beach, looking around in terror after realizing it hasn't been swept for mines. Ooh, lame. No, I'm like the pigeon who has noticed the cuckoo egg in its nest and is preparing to sacrifice it to the sidewalk. Nah.

After working up a good head of paranoia like this, I want to tweak a few things on the ol' web server. Unfortunately it's the middle of the night and I can't contact the cute, wonderful admins who have changed root. Breaking into foad just to fix the holes I came in through would be an unnecessary strain on the relationship. Ikin wait.

I can go find something else to do!

The oranges that Javina gave to me are the biggest oranges I've ever seen. It's a good thing she showed up with all this great stuff, because I was about to start having to either eat cardboard boxes or wake up early to catch my dad and eat meals with him. See, I wake up early enough to eat dinner with him, but only just. And then for the next 16 hours I'm still awake, no one else in the house eats any meals. So J is someone I'll be in grateful to for the rest of time. Mmm, orange. Blech, orangey keyboard.

nnnnmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssss zzzzzzzxggggggggtttttttruuuuuuuuuyyyyyhggggggdfffffffddddddded wwwwwwwyyyyyhujjiiiiiioippppppp;;;;;;;;; llllllkkkkkkjjjjjjuhyjgtfffffffddsazxxxccccccc vvvvvvbbbbbbbbbbbhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,,,,..///\\\\\\\]]]]]o

All clean. Right, I guess I shouldn't eat with my hands and type at the same time.

The other day I realized that I have a soft spot for people who know and admit their true nature. I mean, someone could be doing this huge evil mind-fuck to everyone in their immediate vicinity, but if they know exactly what and why, and write it down, and I see it, I can't even dislike them. Maybe it goes back to the way I used to expect people to make sense, and how that prevented me from giving anyone any sort of benefit of the doubt. When I find someone that knows (in detail!) how they are irrational, I can't help but feel this intense sense of sympathy. I can be manipulated through this, I guess. Not a problem though. You don't have to be impossible to manipulate. You just make it more trouble than you're worth.

I think I'll go back to the heavy, unpleasant yellow book now. Then I should probably get some sleep and try to wake up before noon.