• 1 : 53 A.M.
  SUBHEAD

One of the things guaranteed in the constitution of the United States is your right to go outside and tell everybody that you meet something like YOU GUYS ARE SO STUPID!!!! I'm not saying it's the best way to make friends or influence people, but it sure is comforting to know that it is perfectly legal and that the founders of this country anticipated the need to do that sort of thing once in a while. You could even start a TV show called "The you're so stupid World" which features footage of you wandering around with a camera telling people something like that. It'd be hot! Hotter than "What are people doing on the street at 3 A.M. Video"!

Also on the agenda: find out how those people on the street are lying to you! Oh yes! Some of them say they aren't, but they all are! It has been theorized that those "Moms" that are begging for food for their children would never be allowed to retain those rascals by the state. They'd almost certainly be removed! Need bus fare to their job? Sure! As long as that job is "department store bathroom junkie"! The guy who just needs a ride to his stranded pregnant wife as she gives birth in her car down the street? Ha ha! He's really a carjacker! No, seriously! Oh, not the kids, though. Thse poor street kids. I don't know how they manage to save up enough change to buy dog food and hair gel. Sometimes I offer them Clif bars, but they're not into it.C'mon man, I've gone days without eating anything that didn't come out of a foil wrapper.

You know what, though. I'm super insane lucky to have the things to complain about that I do. Like that there's a teeny tiny dent in my ENORMOUS LUXURY CAR, or that I momentarily don't have a job doing that thing I have done in my spare time since I was 5, possibly the most overpaid occupation in the history of work. I could even complain about how my downstairs neighbors like to smoke right beneath my bedroom window. I have downstairs neighbors! And my house is clean enough to where I can tell if someone's smoking ten feet away! See, my problems are cool. I dare anyone to have better problems. Oh right! And my totally awesome girlfriend sometimes has to sleep when I want to see her! Because she has her life so well put together that it regiments itself!

Okay, now that I'm done bragging but pretending to complain so people will listen to me, I'm all fired up about turning the computer off. I tried turning it off for around 4 hours on Saturday, and the bathroom got cleaned! And then I turned it off for a whole 24 hours, and the kitchen got cleaned, and all my CDs and power supplies got organized like magic! I also started practicing sight reading on the (PIANO) keyboard again. Making some headway, look out chick corea, you fucked up scientologist.

Oh. On the other hand, I'm pretty happy that everyone is polite enough not to tell me, "you're so stupid!" every time, because I'd sure get sick of that.